


All That I Know for Sure

by eshkol (hernameisgeorge)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 21:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3503798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernameisgeorge/pseuds/eshkol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Your name is Jake English and you aren't being a grumpy old man, okay? It's totally not your fault that some child in absurd sunglasses saw fit to ruin the nice day you were having in the park with your sister."</em>
</p><p>In which Jake thinks Dirk is hitting on his sister with the help of a cute kid, but Dirk isn't the one hitting on her.</p><p>Hint: Dave is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That I Know for Sure

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "What I Know" by Parachute.
> 
> I don't really know where this came from. I just thought it'd be pretty cute.

**_"We're not going to fall for an obvious trap like that, are we? Oh shit, we are. I want to go home."_ **  
**-Troll Marcel Proust**

* * *

 Your name is Jake English and you aren't being a grumpy old man, okay? It's totally not your fault that some child in absurd sunglasses saw fit to ruin the nice day you were having in the park with your sister.

The child in question—who, you noticed, was rather more subdued than the average boy his age—had seemingly just appeared after a red frisbee had come flying out of nowhere and landed in Jane's lap.

"Sorry 'bout that," the child had said. "I musta threw it too hard."

"That's quite alright," Jane said. "Right, Jake?"

You crossed your arms and grumbled, causing Jane to elbow you.

"Don't worry about him," she had told the boy, "he's just being a grumpy old man."

You're not being a grumpy old man, you just wish this child would leave you two to your peaceful afternoon.

The little boy sticks his hand out. "I'm Dave."

"Hello, Dave," she says as she shakes his hand. "My name is Jane."

"What about your boyfriend?"

Jane laughs. "I don't have a boyfriend. Jake is my brother."

Dave looks at you and nods seriously.

Then a man appears in much the same manner as Dave, wearing a larger pair of the same absurd sunglasses. You vaguely notice a striking resemblance between them. "Dude, how long does it take to find a frisbee?"

"Hey, Bro," Dave says. "This is Jane and her _brother,_ Jake."

You hear how he stresses the word brother and suddenly understand everything. This man is clearly attempting to woo your sister by way of an adorable child.

But Jane—dear, sweet, precious Jane—does not see the ruse. She simply smiles up at them.

"I hope the little man didn't disturb you," he says. "He's got quite an arm on him."

"It's not a problem," Jane says. "Though I don't think I quite caught your name?"

He looks down at Dave climbing up his leg. "That'd be because I didn't tell you yet. It's Dirk."

You watch in horror as he grabs Dave by his ankle and dangles him upside-down.

"Bro, lemme down, you're embarrassin' me!"

Dirk smirks. "Sorry about this. He's just discoverin' girls."

And suddenly you don't understand anything. Then you catch Dirk eyeing you over his ridiculous sunglasses and _oh._

"No," you say. "It's, um, fine."

Somewhere in between Jane nudging you and winking and Dirk asking for your number, you think that maybe quiet days in the park are overrated.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ETA: If you remember this being posted under a different name, you'd be right! This work was written by me, and I decided to move it to this pseud.


End file.
